betty smiles - radical candour - dancing dogs
good morning bigmoose blog reader,
how was your week?
what did you get up to?
did you do anything exciting or out of the ordinary?
or did you do something of value to your friendship group, your community, your family, or your work colleagues?
i hope with me asking you these probing questions, you can readily answer "yes, i’ve made an impact”?
as i sit here writing this blog, tiffany, my eldest daughter emerges from her cocoon, and whispers “morning, love you” and i smile here in the dark, with just my face illuminated by a product of jobs and wozniak’s legacy.
tiffany has bought betty to stay, and last night when tania opened the car door to lift our sleeping heir from her chair after her travels to wales, she opened her eyes and smiled and said the word “nana” enough to warm the cockles of any female grandparents heart.
as she was carried towards the front door she recognised her surroundings, and whispered “papa?” thus completing the full gambit of joy giving in two words, this beautiful bundle of tiny, smiley, wonderfully smelling cuteness makes two travelled humans, with over 120 laps around the sun combined, just melt.
grandkids are fun, and watching her entertain us with her newly expanded repertoire of words is the freest form of amusement imaginable, yesh, pleash, car, blueberriesh.
i was however disappointed to have missed her rendition of head, shoulders, knees and toes, which reportedly consisted of lots of toe touching, skipping some of the other pre requisite body parts.
as i write, i mull over what characteristics one so young has that can brighten a chilly autumnal morning, and it hits me, that most basic of facial expressions, a smile.
a smile from another is so warming, so natural, and induces such warm fuzzy feelings, i don’t smile enough.
right, today i am going to greet everybody i meet with a ‘betty smile’ and see how they respond, this’ll either go well or i will get arrested, but i’m here for the experiment, wish me luck, or, you filthy nutters, join in and try it, consciously grinning at every exchange, then let me know your findings, i have a feeling you might be pleasantly surprised.
as i contemplate doing cheshire cat impressions all day, i am reminded of how we can all try to make others feel good, and i google to discover a list, which i’ll share in case it helps you reflect, as i am, on how to make others feel better when engaging.
1. be fully present.
2. listen actively, i.e. pay attention.
3. reflective listening, tell people "you can see how that must have made you feel”.
4. hold space for them, let them know you are there for them.
5. offer complete non judgement.
6. validate their feelings.
7. listen without trying to fix.
8. remind them how much they mean to you.
basic stuff, but i know i can be better, how about you?
my week, has been quite interesting, and i have come to the realisation that i have been working too hard, as three friends have all commented i look tired, rude, but radical candour right there 😂 but also great honest feedback, which i need to listen to, so i am planning some r & r this week.
this blog is probably the most disjointed i’ve ever written, due to one wife, two daughters, and one granddaughter all descending upon me and dancing to a battery powered dog, that wiggles, shakes and dances to the most haunting tune, that is now indelibly ingrained in my brain.
i think it’s time to go, but before i do, i just wanted to share some findings we have discovered from our bigmoose software, we have since january 2022 had 759 people referred to us for help with their mental health, and on average we are finding for every 27 referrals we are saving one person from taking their life, a phenomenal statistic, which our whole team are extremely proud of, and if you support us in any way, i hope you feel the same pride, your help is invaluable.
blue skies,
smiley jeff
