addicted to sex, drugs and alcohol - elton john - stoicism

prior to august i had lost my mojo.

not my mojo for life, that was still very much there, in abundance i would say, no my mojo for exercising.

what do i mean by that?

well i have trained, physically pretty much all my life, and i am very aware of the virtues of training in some form, good diet, and hydration, the body and brain after all are machines that need daily maintenance.

so, whether during my career in ice hockey, preparing to climb a mountain, or run an ultramarathon, i have known the rules, hard work, persistency and consistency will pay dividends, and i have been pretty good at self motivating, and getting the work done, not needing any form of accountability.

so it came to pass, that i got my diagnosis, and that drive changed.

my limited research told me that exercise was good to slow down or stop pd.

this should be simple, i didn’t even need to change lanes, this was my lifetime’s hobby, it’s what i did for kicks.

to quote, loosely from elton john, "while the other kids were rocking round the clock” i was training.

but i couldn’t do it, I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t prepare my running kit the night before.

and i ate too much chocolate.

way too much chocolate.

if you ever want a ‘chocolate off’ i will go head to head with anyone.

my research had also told my that folk with pd often get addictions, alcohol, drugs, sex, you name it, mine apparently was chocolate.

family size bars of cadburys were regularly consumed in an evening.

pd addiction mentality, check.

self sabotage, check.

this needed to change, but i needed help this time.

i needed accountability.

so near the end of july i put an instagram post out asking for help, very unlike me, but cometh the hour, cometh the request.

i needed accountability, so i asked my small instagram following to join me on an august exercise regime, committing to exercise for a minimum of 15 minutes, every day of august, to try to pump up my tyres on the old self motivation truck.

it worked.

over 100 people dm’d me pledging allegiance to the cause, thus stimulating me to get my chocolate covered arse into gear.

we’re day eleven today, and my mojo is back.

i have run, hiked, climbed stairs, and not touched one of the bars of cadbury’s sitting on the shelf, my addiction has been tamed.

but the really cool thing that has come out of this adventure is other people.

people are telling me that this accountability is helping them, and they’re loving it, which is super brilliant, and motivating me even more, and accentuating my awareness that as humans, we all need community, something that traditionally had been foreign to me, often being very much a lone wolf, but as i struggled, i am mature enough to realise i need the pack, all very interesting stuff psychologically.

one of the exciting dm’s I have received has been from a mate i met in 2016 in the sahara, kevin webber, diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer and given two years to live, nearly nine years ago, yes nine.

kevin is one of the people that motivate me to see life as very much a half full glass, and last night he messaged me telling me that he had run his fastest 10k run since his diagnosis, and it was for me.

frick my old boots, that was an emotional message to read.

but it got me thinking, just this week i have had two married couples i’m close to split up, one friend disclose that he has lost his business since lockdown, and kev’s story, there is a lot to contend with in life, and we all have a story, i bet you, dear reader have had tough times, we all do, it’s about how we react and respond.

i then last night stumbled across a post about stoicism, which really resonated with, so i thought i’d share it.

kind of sums it up really, i think i’m a stoic.

so in conclusion, life ain’t always a bowl of cherries, and when things get tough, never be afraid to reach out, and let your community help you, we all need help at times, and if your community can’t help, and you’re reading this, bigmoose have access to our amazing team of therapists, and there is a link here, we can help, we can always help

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thanks for reading, have a great week, and hopefully  see you soon,

blue skies,

jeff